Authers Notes

I thought we would take a break from Sophia's story before I round the next corner. in order for me to just get a something out there that I have been wanting to say, but haven't found a place for yet.

Why call this  called how to breathe??
I choose this title for a very good reason....
Sophia (god willing) does not have any respiratory aspects to her condition...
 I am using this as a title because some days, hell, most days, its all I am sure that im doing right...breathing that is...
Also, there is nobody walking that can tell me what is right for my child except for me. similarly my experience will be different and unique from that of all other parents special needs or not. everyone's struggle is different and intense in different ways.
 I will not and cannot try on any level try to explain to you guys where that little ever-burning flame of strength within me comes from, I don't know how it is that after everyday when I have felt like I cant move on, I wake up and smile and find a way to love the life I was given.
Being her mother is not something I consciously do, I don't feel like an inspiration, or an example, I feel like a mom. my instinct to love and protect her is deep and reflexive. I don't know any other way to be. I am fiercely in love with her. and I am fiercely determined to fight for her. Its like breathing to me.. and now I know why no one words could ever tell me how to do this, be a mom of a child with special needs because we all are living this life the same way. By faith. With deep fierce reflexive instincts to our children, and most importantly... one single deep calming breath at a time...

So I guess that's why I titled my blog how to breathe... because no one needs to be told how to breathe... its something you just do above all else regardless of al other things... and that's how deep a reflex my love and instincts are for my daughter. Above all, regardless of all other things, I will be  there to fight for her, love her, and fill any void in her life so that she always has a one hundred percent chance of thriving.

for me its the same as breathing.

-K&Co.